Sometimes, I feel like this...

me: you know, if we step back, out lives are pretty sad...

friend: well, honestly, it is kinda sad, but look at the bright side, we had out fair share of experience and fun

me: true, but then i kinda regreat the "fun" i've had

friend: i just hope that we get our second, third or fourth or fifth chance. I sometimes wished that I have a family, wife and kids.

me: me too, things would be so different, somebody to share life with

friend: yeah...



me: will you settle for a girl less than perfect?

friend: i would, but I don't think I would give up all my habits only for the prefect one, I will quit all not-so-good habits. the regrets i go through, on the mistakes I made, just made me feel like committing suicide sometimes...



friend: i guess on normal days, I'm ok. just when I recall certain things, then it starts to hit me again. But that's for a short while. Only sometimes, the pain prolongs, and that's when the depression starts..

me: i know exactly what you mean, I get this pain on the left of my chest, just below the heart, or just above the stomach...

-----

Sometimes, you don't know what it feels like until you look back and realize you've gambled everything away.. life, love, happiness.... just to see the flop one more time....

Maybe deep down, we all feel like that sometimes...

We just need to beat the pain, take it to the top...

-----

E-type - True Believer (Jorg Schmid remix)

E-type - True Believer (Styles and Breeze remix)

Give me, Give me everything you got!
You and I can take it to the top

Like the superheroes we can save the day
Let the music take us somewhere far away

Because of you (cause of yoooou)
That's what I do (what I do)

Come on, Come on
Because of you
(I'm a true believer)

Reload

The Christmas/New Year "break" gives most of us a chance to catch our breaths. However, with ongoing classes, presentations due and even an exam on 30th December, I've been catching my breath at the expense of my studies.

I've come to realize that

1. MBA students love to gossip - at any opportunity, they will gossip about anything. From who your father is, to who you're dating. But that should be a given, since the community is really very small. 120 students - two classes of 60 each, there are bound to be people who want to gossip.

2. Not everybody is a douche bag - however, those that are douche bags tend to identify themselves quickly and soon, everybody knows about it. I guess the lesson is, if you fuck up, everybody else will know about it. So try and be a nice person.

3. Class marks are very subjective. I've seen two people work on the same project, but yet, get different marks from the lecturer. Same people, same results, different report, different results. People who participate in class getting lower marks for class participation than those that don't participate. Strange things have happened. I'm tempted to see how many politically incorrect things I can say in class, mainly because I know while I'm not interested in getting the best marks, I won't fail the class because of class participation.

-----

The Speed Freak - Days of Anger (DJ Sharpnel Remix)

Sorry, I've no idea what they say, but it's a pretty nice song :)

Bored

Maybe it's just me, but I've been feeling bored at the program. Surprisingly with the exams, presentations and my own projects - including poker, I've found a way to actually get bored at here, in one of the most populated cities in the world.

I've been thinking about summer internships, and was wondering which organization and/or industry would allow me to combine my need to

i) create something new (as I have a short attention span)
ii) have a sense of achievement (I'm narcissistic)
iii) indulge in my risk taking (I have little sense)

Suggestions have been to go into sales. Which is pretty ok with me, considering how much I despised sales when I first started work. I've grown to like it quite a lot and have learnt that it doesn't always involve cold calling to sell credit cards.

But the question is, which company? which industry? And why am I doing an MBA if all I'm going to do is .. .sales... maybe at a more senior level I hope :)

----

You must believe the fairytales I tell you
Love your princes, find your way
Do you guess it if you do?
My fairytales will help you through

You must believe the fairytales I tell you
Fight your dragon, find your way
Do you guess it? Yes it's true
My fairytales will always help you through

2 Brothers on the Dancefloor - Fairytales (No Velocity Happy Hardcore Edit)

Such a classic...

What the MBA has taught me (academically)

Things the MBA has taught me that I didn't really know, or couldn't learn from books.

n o t h i n g.... oh wait, except Managerial Thinking (which I liked)


Maybe it's because it's core semester, but there's nothing really fantastic to learn. Let's go through the courses together...

1. Accounting - ok, yeah, good to know the basic understanding of what's going on. But nothing you wouldn't be able to learn from picking up a book or working in finance. If I wish they taught anything, it would be that they had spent a lot more time on dissecting balance sheets/income statements and cashflow! Especially cashflow.

2. Data, models and decisions (statistics in a nutshell - Nope, nothing of interest here. Maybe if you're going into hardcore finance, it might be interesting... but really, if I were a manager and wanted to calculate some statistics, I would just get.. a statistician..

3. Economics - mmm.. on the fence here, leaning towards.. boring. Gives you a good perspective of how to look at things and tie them in. But in terms of value of it as an academic knowledge, not really. I do like it though, maybe it's because I've done it before and have always found it interesting.

4. Leadership - interesting in the beginning, interesting to learn how other people think. But beyond that, I don't think I'm going to become a CEO or be a good CEO just by attending this class.

5. Ethics - this has got to be the single biggest waste of time. It's such a fucking was of time, I have no idea how to describe it. If I had spent my time transcribing the movie, Titanic from english into chinese, I would have had more fun.

6. Managerial thinking - this was an interesting class. I think I actually did learn some fun stuff on how to think from this class. Worth attending, highly stressful because of the journals, but it was fun. It made me do things and think.


Second half

7. Organizational Behaviour - it's borderline, not terribly interesting. Wasted a whole fucking class talking about fucking gender discrimination. Wtf, such a fucking waste of my fucking time. How long are people going to be beating off to gender discrimination and such.

8. Managerial communications - learn how to write memos. I kid you not, a fucking class on how to write a fucking memo. What kind of idiot doesn't know how to write a memo. And memos differ from industry to industry anyway. And what's more, a fucking group presentation on the fucking memo proposal that you write. Fuck..


Why am I doing an MBA?


---

I'm falling, I need you
I hear you calling out my name
I'm going insane

I touch you, your body
It makes me feel like I'm in ecstacy
Oh can't you see...

I need you..
I'm falling...
I need you...

I need you..
Come save me..
I need you...

Inverse & Orbit1 feat. Sally - I need you (Ultravibes remix)

Pain

The real pain of poker, the only chronic, threatening pain, comes from the daily loss of livelihood—how a player views himself in the face of losing. Pain tolerance, then, is not measured in how well the player can take a bad beat or how long he can sit at a table without questioning what the fuck has happened. Rather, it is how the player handles an inevitable losing streak and the extent to which he will allow losing to affect his idea of himself. After a month straight of losses, a player can become convinced that losing is his role. Going broke becomes his thing to do, his inevitable outcome. The fog of losing, which feels like a seething, dirty steam in the veins, seeps into everything.

The High is Always the Pain and the Pain is Always the High - Jay Caspian Kang

It hurts, somewhere below your stomach and your gut. Like a punch in between knowing that you lost because maybe you misplayed, misread, or just... were stupid....

I will beat the pain, the pain will never be stronger than me...

Jakazid feat. DJ Nicky Cerberus - Find Me

Disgusting

Nothing more unattractive than watching people drink more than they can handle... isn't there any common sense to limit yourself from drinking?


I think I just lost a lot of respect for some people..

---


School is going ok, I think this is how it works

Week 1 - freak out about the schedule
Week 2 - freak out about the work load
Week 3 - realise that the schedule doesn't matter that much, start to bail on classes
Week 4 - realize that the work load doesn't matter that much, stop doing so much work
Week 5 - realize that morning classes suck, sleeping in is much better
Week 6 - realize that the whole MBA sucks, stop caring about it and more about partying
Week 7 - realize that mid terms are around the corner and you're screwed
Week 8 - mid terms, you are screwed
Week 9 - realize that the exams don't matter much
Week 10 - life is back to normal...

Yup, it works out to be something like that...

----

Dougal & Gammer - Guitar Hero

Time flies so quickly

It's either time moves incredibly fast in an MBA program, or time just moves fast in China.

How can I recap something that's moved so fast? There's an inane amount of reading to be done, as well as homework. It's easy to blink and miss a couple of days - because of the work load, weekends blend into weekdays, and you never seem to get any rest.

What have I learnt over the past 4 weeks? Apparently, a lot, but I just don't understand what I've learnt nor can I recall any.

Leadership - not much, but interesting discussions
Managerial thinking - lots of theories, but I can't remember
Managerial economics - nothing really new
Accounting - quite a bit, pretty technical
Data, Models, decisions - a lot of technical things, but after this mid term, I realize that I've forgotten quite a bit

Which reminds me, I should record down the DMD mid-term for people

1. Question 1 was about two dices - do a probability table for them, then explain whether you would choose rolling two dices at once, or rolling one dice and multiplying the results by two.

2. Question 2, complete a probability table about a guy and his % of getting sick. Pretty simple.

3. Question 3, Cereal company, mean ranges between 500 - 550 grams, s.deviation - 20 grams. Calculate the mean if to meet the guaranteed minimum of 500 grams per pack of cereal. And the probability of 10 packs of cereal having a minimum weight of 5000 grams. Cereal packs are independent.

4. Question 4, Investment returns and the probability of returns. 3 different stocks, 2 portfolios with different % amounts invested in the 3 stocks. Calculate the returns, and probability of returns. Which fund is better?

5. Question 5, two airlines - calculate the range for the confidence levels of empty seats. Second part was, Airline A, sampled 80 flights, 60 were on time. Airline B, sampled 100 flights, 80 were on time. Calculate the differences in sampling, how many would they need to sample to have a 95% confidence level.

---

Groove Coverage - God is a Girl

Have fun, happy halloween :)

Rock You Softly

I heard this song, and it reminded me of you. Time does fly, I wonder how you're doing tonight. It's getting cold here... sometimes, it gets lonely. Where ever you are, what ever you're doing, I hope you're having a good time and that you're well.

----

Hey Michelle, how's life, are you ok?
I wonder if you ever think of me....
It's been 9 years since that kiss,
I can't help but reminince
Hey Michelle do you remember?
You were my first and worst love...
And so it could only go right
But ain't that just the way you learn?
Hey Michelle, I just wanted to let you know...

Scott Brown - Rock You Softly

Bad decision

Made a bad decision in terms of entertainment and ended up with the most boring night I've had so far in Beijing.

Oh well... some hardcore always makes things better :)

----

Turn the volume up!!
Only make your body two plus fire
As I turn the volume up higher and higher
Quick as a flash pop up on the scene
Break out the casio and the drum machine!

Protonic - Turn The Volume Up!

Week 1

Week 1 could be summed up as ... classes.. a lot of classes, a lot of reading.. and a lot of sleep. Resulting in me just giving up on Friday and missing my Chinese class as I lay in bed with the rain pouring outside.

Celebrated the birthdays of two classmates, who I really enjoy knowing. I notice the tendency is when there is a group of MBA students, it deteriorates into a free for all drinking fest within a couple of minutes. A classmate of mine seems to be intent of making others do shots on a regular basis, while others are occupied with planning which club they're going to hit later on at night.

It can be good fun though, once everybody has a little buzz going.

---

My immediate study group has been pretty good. For the Ethics class, I've the privilege of working with very intelligent and outspoken classmates (I don't think MBA students have ever called each other anything other than intelligent). For my usual study group (it differs from the Ethics group), I have several local classmates that definitely know what they're doing. It's actually easy to work with them.

I'm supposed to write a journal on weekly basis for my Leadership class - some how, some way, I will be prepared for a CEO position if I write a journal. I wonder whether that is true? Perhaps, I should just point my professor to this blog, things would be much easier.... I wouldn't have to write things twice.


DJ Stompy - Forever Hardcore

What a brilliant song...

Lazy People

Prior to coming to Tsinghua, I had been told several things by colleagues and friends - but mainly summed up that Chinese people can be and are lazy.

But after my experiences with my immediate orientation group, I can attest that it's merely a generalization. I envy the various study groups that my orientation group will go into - because they are incredibly motivated and hardworking. While I may not have talked much to them, or contributed to scoring high, I do respect them for how much they have given into the orientation program - even more so because, honestly, the orientation carries little weight to what will be achieved during the actual MBA.

Here's one for you guys

Hixxy - Forever Together

P/s, I'm not keen on the charity event ;)

We Have Made Contact

And so began the Orientation Week. A bit disorganized and messy, but I guess because the committee is made of students of the Class of 2011 - they would be busy and this would be the first time that many of them are doing it. But all in all, they've done a pretty decent job, although certain things like a 6 hour scavanger hunt were less than ideal.

I have to admit that all in all, it's been a pretty interesting week. However, I realize that most international students don't realize the value that the local students place on being able to attend Tsinghua.

For many locals, being able to attend Tsinghua is something that they may have dreamt of for a logn time - achieving is could be the culmination of a lot of hardwork and a bit of luck. For the internationals, we don't realize how much Tsinghua can/may help us as we stay in China. I think as the two years progress, hopefully, we'll be able to realize the value of the Tsinghua name - for the time being, we might still prefer the Harvard name.

China has 30 million students and has 8 million new students per year, of that, Tsinghua has approximately 27,000 students (14k undergrad, 13k post grad).... so, for being the elite university... Tsinghua is pretty elite in that sense.

Let's hope, that the Tsinghua name will really open the doors we hope to open...

In A Spin

Nothing much to say, except I realize that expat China is very different from local China. I haven't figured out exactly how much more different, but... it is different

----

Wink - In A Spin (DJ Kurt)

Now I know you're near
Things won't be the same!
I reach inside, my love is true
No place to hide, what else can I do?

Oh I'm in a spin and I wanna start this loving thing
Because you get me high and I don't need nobody else tonight
So let it begin so I can give you everything
And now I can fly, I don't need anybody else tonight

Week 1 *Pre-class

It's the end of the first week here in Tsinghua and it's been a fairly interesting week. Lots of new people, the typical foreign student exchanges phone numbers within 5 minutes or so of meeting each other. Not just because for networking purposes, but I think it's because we share a common purpose of being here and in a way, to form a support group.

I don't think cliques per se have been formed, although at this moment, I haven't seen many local chinese students participating in our dinners/drinks. Possibly because we don't know many of them, and that they also would have other friends and families. For us, we're the only ones that we know here - so perhaps stronger bonds form.

Just about everybody seems pretty nice, there don't seem to be any jerk/bitch personas. It'll be interesting to work with them. At the moment, I'm looking forward to meeting my group mates - especially the local chinese. Truth be told, I don't think the locals need us as much as we need them, which might explain why they rarely interact with us.

Comparatively to our western counterpart schools, pre-program pedigree doesn't seem to feature highly with the students. We don't have ex-McK/GS people who graduated from H/Y/P attending us. But instead, there are several themes to the students that attend:

1. Foreign Chinese that intend to do business in China.
2. Family businesses.
3. Entrepreneurship experience of sorts.

The caucasians that attend tend to have had some form of China experience prior to this, and are looking to stay in China after this or be involved in some role that involve China.

----

Mikk & Envias - Bittersweet Symphony

1st Class

Pre term maths, what a way to start the program. I guess it's a necessity though - having to remember all the maths (mainly calculus) that haven't been used in years. In a way, it was fun to do maths again, a bit like doing the GMAT.

The schedule for the next 3 months seems pretty hectic, but I was sort of expecting that after talking with students from other schools. Data, Modelling and Decision Making seems to be a very important module - given that the pre term math classes are probably for that module.

Doing the pre term maths made me remember a project that I wanted to do at work - to take 5 years past data of prices and sales and chart it out for every price available. Unfortunately that project died when a new hire quit after 2 weeks due to family reasons. I never did get around to getting the data that I wanted, although it would have been interesting to look at the numbers. Could probably have done a more accurate projection of demand based on the prices too.

It's so complicated!

First you need to register your residence with the police. But before you do that, you need to actually HAVE a place that you're staying at. But not only that, you need to show legal documentation that you're staying there (rental agreement) and preferably get the landlord to follow you to the police station to register yourself there.

Then you need to get a medical examination (or verification of the medical examination you took before you came). In order to do that, you go to some strange place out of town that's a good 30 minutes by car (yup, cab fare is going to be high). And don't forget your photos AND x-ray scans! Get that stamped and then back to the Foreign Student Affairs Office.

Then only can you be registered with the university. Oh, and remember, if you pay with any method other than cash/credit card - you'll need to wait for the money to clear before they issue you a full study visa. Until then, you're only issued with a partial visa.

----

I've decided to go ahead and rent a place near the school, approximately 12 minutes by foot (I timed it). Pretty convenient, however, like most of the flats here, it's a bit run down. Sad to say, the flats are pretty cramped up and dirty, and at times... dark as well. It's pretty spooky heading up to the current place where I'm staying, makes me feel like I'm walking into some drug den.

I should have all details settled by next Monday latest! And class starts tomorrow, well, at least pre-term starts. I heard that's when all the fun starts... so hopefully.

Lost at sea

As far as today went, I've accomplished what I set out to do

1. Get a mobile number
2. Open a bank account

However, I'm not too sure about my mobile number - I've got SOME sort of mobile number, but I had to pay a RMB1000 deposit. And they don't have blackberry access for the normal consumer - apparently it's only for corporates :( I wasn't able to understand enough to actually register for that, I'll do that when I have somebody more fluent in the language than I am. Does that sound like a plea for a language partner?

I was told to choose a different bank from ICBC as ICBC charges a huge fee to withdraw from it's ATMs outside Beijing. So just in case (which is unlikely, but still) I go out of the city, I opened an account with Bank of China and happily dumped in all my money... I do hope that I opened the right account. I'll test it out tomorrow when I see an ATM machine.

Note: Foreign cheques and bank drafts take up to 2 months to clear....

I went to register at the Foreign Students Affair Office, however they're unable to convert my visa as I paid with a bank draft and that takes time. They also required to see my testamur before they fully register me, so I'll have to do that tomorrow again.

A whole new day tomorrow, I wonder how much more Mandarin I'll learn...

Beijing Day 1

I've landed!

With a headache now, just set up a Witopia account :)

Going to rest!

4 days more

It's been pretty hectic getting things together, bags packed and saying good-bye. At the moment, I've packed about 85% and am about 90% ready to go - all that's left is arranging for accommodation when I'm there.

I wonder what the future holds..

Last day in the office, no make that, the last 1 hour 10 minutes I'll be spending here! Had the lunch, had the goodbyes; no tears, it's been the most challenging yet enjoyable career experiences I've had.

Onward to a award presentation ceremony dinner where I hope the dot com will be able to pick up the seed funding. 5 awards are going out, we just need one of them. At this point, there's a 40% chance of getting it, which is pretty good. I mean, you would bet on a 40% chance for some money....

Feeling a bit nervous, excited, apprehensive, sad, etc. I leave for Tsinghua in 9 days. Visa done, money ready - I just need to find accommodation (which I'll do when I get there). Hopefully, everything works out...

-----

Adam Harris - Heaven's Above (Hixxy Remix)

H.T.I.D Hardcore Till I Die
When the rain falls down I look up to the sky
Picture you up there and all I do is cry
Being here without you is like a dying pain
I'm here looking up, searching for you in the rain
You're looking down on me like a guiding star
I will always love you wherever you are

Being without you is like a dying pain
I'm here looking up, searching for you in the rain
Since they took you from me I have no reason for life
You're in the heavens above, looking down with the light.

London is calling

London is really a lovely place. You don't get the feeling that it's going to be the next big thing, but you get the feeling that it's already there. It's no wonder that London is one of the top cities of the world.

Just as long as you don't convert the pound and don't have to pay for accomodation, it's very livable and enjoyable. Had a wonderful time here, met up with some contacts and friends, spent a night out with really interesting people who showed me what London was all about.

I didn't do the regular visits to Tate Museum, Kew Gardens or even Harrod's. I spent time around Picadilly circus and with my friends - I ended up walking around London at 2am looking for something to eat with my friends. Drinks at a pub are incredibly cheap, dollar for dollar. Taxi fare, is on the high side. If you're earning a decent living (maybe 80k - 90k), you could definitely enjoy London.

The most memorable time I had? Having lunch at le Renais de Venise, excellent steak, excellent chips, excellent dessert and most of all, excellent company that enjoyed the food with me! Would I stay here for 2 years? I would if I had the money and opportunity.

On another note, I realized that I don't think I could work for Goldman Sachs. One of my friends, had to head back to office at 2.30am to finish up more work on a Saturday night. Apparently, it's a normal occurences - as in, he's been doing it just about every weekend. 18 hours a day, or about 110 hours a week. The money is good, really good - but the hours and lifestyle, that's just hardcore.

3 more weeks to Beijing. I'm looking forward to that.

It's like a dream, no end and no beginning...

Bass D & King Matthew - Like a Dream (Darwin remix)

Listen to your heart....

We've just finished talking.... it's going to come to an end... you know it.. and I do..
But let's just pretend.. for a little while longer....

I glanced at the window.. the sun is setting and the reflection on the building opposite makes everything look so lonely... the night has come.. and you've leaving...

----

I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes
You've built to love but that love falls apart
A little piece of heaven turns to dust

Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you
Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why
Listen to your heart, before you tell him good bye...

DHT - Listen to Your Heart (Rob Mayth remix)

A8 vs 99

Although gambling is banned in Ukraine, apparently there is a poker club at Hotel Kreschatik. I've been told that it's run by the Russian/Ukrainian mafia! Nevertheless.. it's a "relatively" safe place to play poker.

With approximately 30 tables, they play in euros. Most games are 0,5/1 euro and there are probably higher stakes. Minimum buy in is 50 euros. It's fairly simple to get to, just get into a cab and tell them you want to get to that hotel - you can't miss it, it's on the main road of Kiev city.

However, it's never good to play against a table of foreign speakers when you don't understand their language. They were fairly curious to where I am from and how I played (amazingly tight). There are local pros that are very loose and aggressive - they buy in at about 300 euros, with a min raise of 10 - 15 euros pre-flop. Interestingly, they're all willing to take a gamble with some really strange hands.

The mafia also plays there. The people I played against were pretty talkative in Ukrainian - making jokes about their hands (from what I guessed). The pros today could speak english and chatted briefly with me.

With my 50 euro stack, I lasted 2.5 hours, which I thought was pretty good.

A8 vs 99.

I raised pre-flop 5 with my A8, had 4 callers, flop was A89. I raised 12, was reraised to 25.. and I went all in - needless to say, the guy instant called.... A 8 9 7 10

:(

Another night

Just another night alone in the hotel room. The girls in Kiev are simply gorgeous. However, like any other place, they come with a price - here, love can be bought for USD250 - although I've been told by the business partner than you can negotitate it down to USD100. I haven't bothered to try.

Plenty of business opportunities here though - I think if you know the right kind of people, you could easily make a lot of money, and I mean a lot. It's cheaper than the USA, but more expensive than Asia - puts it into a nice little position.

Alcohol can be a bit pricy here - a bottle of Jack runs up to the low USD100. Food is pretty good, it's got a really rich flavor because of the ingredients - heavy cream and pork lard! Can't go wrong with that!

Tomorrow is a rest day because I'm waiting for some costings to come in from home base while the partners here prepare some information for me. I'll probably take a walk around town, it's very scenic and relaxing though. The sun sets at 9pm because it's summer and apparently it's pretty safe until midnight or so (better than expected). I'm out of money on PokerStars as I've happily donked it away on tournaments - hoping to get a reload tomorrow though....

Am charging the laptop before I head down to the bar - while it's full of lonely men looking for love, and women who are selling love, it beats sitting in the hotel room alone. At least I'll be able to sip a nice latte while watching yet another DVD. Didn't feel like hitting the clubs as I did that yesterday and will probably do it tomorrow - club music here is pretty enjoyable, less on the remixed pop and more on the dance/house/trance. Either that or they're playing remixed Ukrainian pop songs... which I can't differentiate from dance music. :)

P/s - it took 41 hours from home to the hotel room!

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said.. it would be this hard..

Oh take me back to the start...

Evil Activities - Nobody Said It Would Be Easy

---

Sitting here, sipping my coffee while waiting for the time to pass before I get on the plane again. Plenty of thoughts have passed through my mind - my fears of what happens after the MBA seem to feature prominently.

Truth be told, China is the wild wild east. A 100 years ago, the gold rush was in California, Alaska etc. Now, the gold rush is in Beijing and Shanghai. Once again, those with a dream of a better life pack their bags and head out to where the gold is.

But is it that easy? Probably not.

So, I'm just wondering what happens after the MBA. But for the time being, I'm going to try to sit back, relax and just enjoy the trip.

This time, I'm heading to the Ukraine... it should be a fairly interesting trip, however, the biggest hurdle I've got is language and a 12 hour transit at Heathrow. Yotel.com is fully booked up and I'm landing at 10pm. If I were landing at 10am, I would be pretty happy - a trip up to the city would be good, but I don't think there's much to do at 1am on a Tuesday night.

A New Chapter

It's come down to this, 5 more weeks before I head off to Tsinghua SEM for my MBA program.

3 years of applications to Top 10 business schools that results in countless waitlists - I was good, but missing the magic factor. No tears, I learnt a lot and met some wonderful people. Although, I would have done things differently if I were to relive the past 3 years again, it has been a good time.

What would I have done differently? I would have taken on a job that I love and excelled at it. Instead of putting my nose to the grind for a job I had little passion for - investment banking.

With regret and sadness, I resigned last Wednesday (14 july). I've had the pleasure of working with such energetic people in a role that allowed me to contribute where ever I could. Never did I imagine (as recently as a year ago) that working for a local manufacturing company would give me such satisfaction.

I don't know whether I'll be back, there are talks, but nobody can see 2 years in the future. Some say I'm silly to give up a job that sends me all over the world - maybe I am, but I know if I come back, I will have that option all over again. It's not so much the traveling that I will miss, but it's the people, the team work that I savor and will miss. I hope, that if I come back, things will be even better.

---

The house has been sold, another regret. I've lived there my whole life - I remember everything so clearly. The rooms, the laughter, Saturday cooking for lunch, the baking days... it's all so fresh in my mind. My old bed, the computer, the pets... but now, everybody has gone away and so will I. For the past several years, I stayed with the ghosts of the past in the house, maybe in some way, it's easier to sell the house and move onward to the future.